5 Professions That Used to Be A Whole Lot Radder
Priests
The power of the church has greatly decreased pretty much everywhere in the United States outside of maybe Italian households or the Republican National Convention. Naturally, that also leads to priests becoming a little less awe-inspiring. They used to be the font for God’s wisdom and power, and now they’re mostly just strange, celibate men in a funny collar. Forget exorcisms, it’s time to hand out pamphlets and coordinate coat drives.
That’s all, of course, outside of the very large, pedophilic elephant in the room. Are all priests a bunch of inveterate sexual predators? Of course not. Still, any job that requires the caveat “not the kid-diddling kind” has gotta sour the mood at a wine mixer. Plus, if prestige TV has taught me anything, it’s that you constantly have murderers coming in to either meet with the detectives hunting them or to say weird stuff to you through the confession screen.
Executioners
Now this might require at least a small caveat that I don’t think executions are “rad.” I’ll leave that to people from the dark ages who hadn’t invented the idea of a hobby yet. That said, even for one of the world’s grimmest jobs, at least in the past there was some fun pageantry involved. You got to dress up like a weird wizard or some sort of religious Uruk-hai leader and carry around a sick fucking axe.
Now you’re just standing there throwing a lever in a scratchy beige uniform? Insult added to mental injury. Sure, they were basically exiled from public interaction but that’s kind of cool in its own way, right? You’re like a combination of the Angel of Death and Shrek. Nobody bothers you, and the hours are pretty short. I mean, there’s the guilt, and the sorrow, and the going directly to hell if it exists, but I have to imagine that “THUNK” is very rewarding to hear.